Friday, July 30, 2010

Ain't

· “Ain't” is a colloquialism and a contraction originally used for "am not", but also used for "is not", "are not", "has not", or "have not" in the common vernacular.


· It is also used for “do not”, “does not”, or “did not” in some varieties of Black English.


· “Ain't” is still commonly used in the sense "am not".


· The word is a perennial issue in English usage.


· It is a word that is widely used by many people, but its use is commonly considered to be improper.


· Everyone uses it occasionally as part of a joking phrase or to convey a down-to-earth quality.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

World Famous Quotations


· "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"- Abraham Lincoln



· "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."- Abraham Lincoln



· "Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless."- Sinclair Lewis



· "The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he'll be late for dinner and she's already left a note that it's in the refrigerator."- Bill Lawrence



· "The modern pantheist not only sees the god in everything, he takes photographs of it."- D.H. Lawrence



· "An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured."- Konrad Adenauer



· "Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?"- Holbrook Jackson



· "When women go wrong, men go right after them."- Mae West



· "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Jack Nicholson



· "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often." - Oliver Herford



· "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." - George Carlin



· "Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?" - James Thurber



· "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." - Henry Youngman



· I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ``Get the hell off my property.'' - Joan Rivers



· "There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant



· "Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong." - Oscar Wilde



· "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Globol



· "Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!" - Ben Jonson



· "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen



· "A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done." - Fred Allen



· "What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." - Woody Allen



· "Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." - Franklin P. Jones



· "Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed." - Albert Einstein



· "In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language." - Mark Twain



· "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?" - George Carlin



· I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx



· Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson



· "It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off." - Woody Allen



· When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look ... twins!” - Rodney Dangerfield



· From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. - Groucho Marx



· "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks



· "I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them." - Joan Rivers



· "I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back." - Henry Youngman



· "I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield



· "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." - Rodney Dangerfield

Proverbs

· Well begun is half done!

· An acute word cuts deeper than a sharp weapon.

· Necessity is the mother of invention.

· Want is the mother of industry.

· Time and tide wait for none.

· Every rose has a thorn.

· Think twice before you act.

· Look before you leap.

· Barking dogs seldom bite.

· In the country of nose less the half nosed man is the king.

· In the country of blinds one eyed man is the king.

· A stitch in time saves nine.

· Without wood a fire goes out.

· All men can’t be masters.

· Honesty is the best policy.

· Health is wealth.

· Might is right!

· A friend in need is friend indeed.

· Life is not a bed of roses.

· Pride goes before a fall.

· First impression is the best impression.

· As you sow, so shall you reap?

· A rolling stone gathers no mass.

· Where there is a will there is a way.

· Make hay while the sun shines.

· At the end of the game you will see who the winner is.

· Prevention is better than cure.

· A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

· Failure is the stepping stone to success.

· Slow and steady wins the race.

· Rome was not built in a day.

· Union is strength.

· More haste, less speed.

· Every cloud has a silver lining.

· Every dog has a day.

· Look before you leap.

· Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

· Who will bell the cat?

· Face is the index of the mind.

· A crying child gets milk.

· A drowning man will catch a straw.

· Crows are never the whiter for washing themselves.

· One flower makes no garland.

· If you run after two bones you will catch neither.

· A good cow may have a bad calf.

· After calm there comes a storm.

· A good master makes a good servant.

· New grooms sweep clean.

· All roads lead to Rome.

· All things are yellow to the jaundice eye.

· The pot calls the kettle black.

· Sow well and reap well.

· All are not saints that go to church.

· Actions speak louder than words.

· United, we stand; divided, we fall.

· First deserve, then desire.

· Blessings are not valued till they are gone.

· Too many cooks spoil the broth.

· Killing two birds with one stone.

· Wash a dog, comb a dog, still a dog is a dog.

· No gains without pains.

· Lucky men need no counsel.

· Out of the frying pan into the fire.

· Hard nut to crack.

· Diamonds cuts diamonds.

· After a storm comes calm.

· Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

· Where there is no love, all are faults.

· Love is blind.

· One story is good till another is told.

· Hungry dogs eat dirty puddings.

· Aim at the Stars....For even if fall you short, you will land on the Moon.

Tongue Twisters

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.



Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?


Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.


Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.


But a bit of better butter--
that would make my batter better."


So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.


Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.


A big black bug bit a big black bear,
made the big black bear bleed blood.


She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.


Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.


A bitter biting bittern
Bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern
Bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten,
By the better bitten bittern,
Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"


A noisy noise annoys an oyster.


Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw!


I cannot bear to see a bear
Bear down upon a hare.
When bare of hair he strips the hare,
Right there I cry, "Forbear!"


Tim, the thin twin tinsmith


I need not your needles, they're needless to me;
For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see;
But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed,
I then should have need of your needles indeed.


A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Flee from fog to fight flu fast!


How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.


Six short slow shepherds.


A tree toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree toad
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree toad trod.
But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower
With her three-toed power
The she-toad vetoed him.


Which witch wished which wicked wish?


Old oily Ollie oils old oily autos.


The two-twenty-two train tore through the tunnel.


Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed
shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;
sheep should sleep in a shed.


Sure the ship's shipshape, sir.


Of all the felt I ever felt,
I never felt a piece of felt
which felt as fine as that felt felt,
when first I felt that felt hat's felt.




Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.



Swan swam over the sea,
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again
Well swum, swan!


Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins.


Brad's big black bath brush broke.



Strict strong stringy Stephen Stretch
slickly snared six sickly silky snakes.


Susan shineth shoes and socks;
socks and shoes shines Susan.
She ceased shining shoes and socks,
for shoes and socks shock Susan.


If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor
who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the
doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor
the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?



While we were walking, we were watching window washers
wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.



The crow flew over the river
with a lump of raw liver.



Good blood, bad blood.


Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?



She stood on the balcony
inexplicably mimicing him hiccupping,
and amicably welcoming him home.


Ned Nott was shot
and Sam Shott was not.
So it is better to be Shott
than Nott.
Some say Nott
was not shot.
But Shott says
he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott
was not shot,
or
Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,
Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,
then Shott was shot,
not Nott. I need not your needles, they're needless to me;
For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see;
But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed,
I then should have need of your needles indeed.
However,
the shot Shott shot shot not Shott --
but Nott.


Pretty Kitty Creighton had a cotton batten cat.
The cotton batten cat was bitten by a rat.
The kitten that was bitten had a button for an eye,
And biting off the button made the cotton batten fly.


Fred fed Ted bread, and Ted fed Fred bread.

A quick witted cricket critic.




I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.



How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?





Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.



Sheena leads, Sheila needs.


The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.




Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?


Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.


You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!


Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.


Clean clams crammed in clean cans.


Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.


I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.


There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.


To sit in solemn silence in a dull dark dock



One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.


Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

First published in 1806, Written by Ann Taylor and Jane Taylor.




Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high ,
Like a diamond in the sky



When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle all the night.



Then the traveller in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.



In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye,
'Till the sun is in the sky.



As your bright and tiny spark
Lights the traveller in the dark,
Though I know not what you are - Twinkle, twinkle little star.